When you call us, the system will first ask you for a number five times.
It is not necessary to enter a number and if you do not enter one, you
will be provided with the menu with various options. You need to say
‘Help’ from the main menu which will provide you with two options
‘Password’ or ‘Website’. You need to say ‘Website’ to speak to a
customer service representative.

Ask me for a number 5 times and it never needs to be entered?

Say “help” to get “options”?

Say “Website” to get a person?

Of course, it should come as no surprise that absolutely none of what is described above actually greets me when I call…

update: I should have mentioned yesterday that the italic text above was copied verbatim from an email I received from their support team. Also, re-reading that paragraph doesn’t it sound like a logic puzzle? Try re-reading it and adding “Do you enter a number when prompted?” as an additional sentence… I know it’s got me stumped.